What is it with contestants this season? Is it just me or does there seem to be more and more contestants having to be ushered out of their audition by security? Maybe that’s something that’s always happened and we’re only now getting a glimpse of it, but come on people. When the judges say “you suck”, you pretty much suck. Get a grip and move on. If they ask you to sing another song fine but if they don’t, shut the heck up. When the judges tell you they hated it, they’re not kidding around. Take the hint and go home, enough already. So goes it for Birmingham, and I dunno, “Idol country” as Ryan Seacrest called it, seemed to fair pretty well compared to previous cities. Either that or I’m just becoming jaded to this nonsense already. Birmingham sent a total of 20 people through to Hollywood, we got to see 5 of them, let’s take a quick look.

Katie Bernard is our first L.A. bound Idol hopeful. Katie is 19, from Oviedo FL. The first thing you notice is she has this very high pitched voice, almost like a female version of Alvin the Chipmunk. It’s one of those voices that after about five minutes, you want to sit her in a corner alone somewhere. Is this really her natural voice? Wow. Katie sings “A House Is Not A Home” and what a difference. She wasn’t kidding when she said her singing voice was different. It’s not great, not one that makes you say “she could win” but it’s ok. The whole voice thing with her is weird but I suppose a bit of coaching could work that out. Simon’s just not into it and you can tell, he would really rather be anywhere else than where he is. Randy’s charmed, puts her though but Paula. Paula’s gotta play for the cameras, we’re only a few minutes into the show, can’t be sending someone through yet, there’s been no drama. Katie just got married and Paula thinks Katie might not really be ready, but for effect (remember, gotta have some drama, even if it’s manufactured) drags the new hubby into the audition room. The purpose is obviously so he can “convince” Paula to send his new bride off to the land of the Rich & Famous. Yawn! Let’s move on.

Tatiana McConnico. It doesn’t take long for the judges to find someone else to send through, looks like Birmingham still has it. Tatiana is 17, from Austelle GA. Tatiana sang “I Never Loved A Man”. Nice voice, maybe great voice, nailed the song, judges put her through with any debate. Randy seemed to think it might be the best voice he would hear in Birmingham.

Bernard Williams, 26 from Pleasant Grove, AL. Bernard sings “Rock With You”. It did nothing for me, but what do I know about such things. Simon liked Bernard but Paula thought he was way off key. Surprisingly she goes against the norm and declines. Randy is sort of on the fence but decides Bernard might have something and puts him through. Reasonable enough, we’ll see what Bernard has in Hollywood.

Ok, departing from the norm, I have to ask. WTF was up with Big Bird. I agree with Simon when he said “I don’t know what this show is anymore”. That was just wrong on so many levels. Anyway, back to the Hollywood bound.

Jamie Lynn Ward, 17 from Reidsville NC. Being from NC I have to pay attention, she’s cute, perky, a few too many holes in the jeans, immediately reminds me of Kellie Pickler right down to the distinct NC twang. We all know Kellie had a great sob story but folks, this one takes the cake. Ready.. First we learn that Jamie lives with her grandma, she helps take care of her daddy who is paralyzed from the neck down. (Pause for effect). She wants to win American Idol so she can get her grandma a house with no stairs.  Now I’m a big fan of Kellie (being from the same town and all that) and I will admit, Idol over did her backstory to the point of exhaustion and she may have even contributed to that, but this is TV, a good backstory makes for great drama and we all know Idol loves it’s drama. We’ll this one doesn’t stop. Jamie continues to tell the judges about her daddy, pointing to her neck and saying “He shot hisself, like right here”. Enough? Not yet. Jamie tells us that the reason he did this was because her step-mom had been cheating on him, several times and finally having enough of it he shot the step-mom and then himself and now he’s paralyzed. Holy Cow Batman!!! Finally, Jamie sings “Reflections” and this is where any comparison with Kellie ends. She doesn’t have the entrancing personality Kellie has and neither does her singing show the potential that Kellie’s did at this point. Randy and Paula put Jamie through to Hollywood, I was a little surprised by that. While she was ok, better than most, I feel it’s more for the exploitation of the backstory than anything else. Oh well, I’m sure we’ll get a healthy dose of it during Hollywood week, but I don’t see Jamie moving on.

Chris Sligh, 28 from Greenville SC. Chris has been talked about in Idol fan circles for sometime. If there is any pre-idol pimping going on this year, it’s only being done by fans searching for early favorites and Chris has been one of them. He’s charming, saying that people tell him he looks like Jack Osbourne or Jack Black. He disagrees, saying when he looks in the mirror, he sees Christina Aguilera looking back. Ok that was funny, I chuckled, scripted or not it was delivered well, plus for him. It doesn’t stop there either, Chris appears to be one of those that’s naturally funny, knowing just the right thing to say at just the right time. Randy asked him why he was there, to which Chris replied, “I really want to make David Hasslehoff cry”. Yeah ok, that’s was pretty funny too. So can Chris really sing. Yup. He sings “Kiss From A Rose” and so far he’s lived up to the early fan hype. Solid audition, I think the best voice we’ve heard from Birmingham so far. He gets a standing O from Paula, Randy likes him and Simon thinks he’s found the horse that can win this race. Again, Chris has been talked about in fan circles for sometime now, he’s definitely one to watch. If I had to pick someone right now, I’d say Chris is leading this race.

Are we done yet? Nope, next it’s off the L.A.